Learning to Hear Again

What do you do when the world as you know it suddenly changes and not understanding why? Imagine waking one morning and everything is completely silent. You don’t hear the typical sounds of your kids screaming your name asking for breakfast. And you’re thinking to yourself, “finally, some peace and quiet”. But then you quickly realize, the silence isn’t because your kids decided to give you break; it’s due to the fact you’ve lost one of your major senses, your hearing. This became my reality in 2007.

Being faced with this new challenge of adjusting to hearing aids, I became embarrassed, ashamed, depressed, and hated myself for this flaw. Nothing seemed to bring me comfort. I tried so hard to not strain to hear to just pick up on sounds and words that I could. Overtime, there was still little improvement as the straining continued and I would constantly pretend to understand anything that was said to me when I truly did not understand at all.

The hearing aids where just for sound. I constantly found myself asking others to repeat questions or saying I don’t understand. Words sounded so mumbled together. I was using my best judgement all the time to put together what others were asking me to avoid showing my misunderstanding. Would I ever be granted the immediate fix I so longed for?

My world had changed. I had changed. My question always remained, would I be able to hear again? Still no answers.

Uncertainty is like a wild fire, it spreads uncontrollably

Hired,Quit, Fired, Started My Own

Who would ever think your life dreams would come when you’re at the lowest point of life. Being hired so many times, quit because no one understands your situation, and fired because you lose interest in the position you once thought would lead to your final place of retirement. I have started so many jobs ranging from Customer Service, Accounting, Medical office, Real Estate, and the list goes on.

February 2019 was just like any month for me attending a well-paid job for a check. No matter how I woke up and got dressed to drive the 20 miles to work, I couldn’t find my passion in the position other than looking forward to my Friday weekly paycheck. There wasn’t a reason why I should hate the job with all the flexibility given, but it just didn’t allow me the excitement of enjoying eight hours a day. Soon enough management picked up on my lack of interest to be there, my constant errors in overlooking my work, tardy daily because I took advantage of the flexible shift, always on my phone in meetings because I was browsing on Instagram hours after hours looking at what gave me excitement. Later that month, I decided this is not for me. I am tired of settling just for a check. I am tired of fear stopping me from the things that I love so much and hold my attention. I ended the position.

Let’s go back to March 1st, 2019, the first day of me being unemployed and stepping out on faith. All those hours spent on Instagram looking at different profiles of other women who have started their way in the beauty industry of eyelashes/eyelash extensions had my undivided attention. With no experience except wearing eyelashes, I decided to pick a class. I located a local Certified Eyelash Instructor who profiles showed me she was dedicated to her work, passionate about what she does, and I knew this was someone I wanted to train me to be my very best with this new task. We all are aware of investing in ourselves is never cheap, but well worth it at the end. I paid for my class and stepped out on faith to learn something new, something that I could do alone, something that makes me forget about my phone the hours I am working, and most of all something that I dream about at night and during my naps.

Most people doubted me saying the job is too tedious. Some thought I was wasting money because out of all my career titles; none dealt with the beauty industry. None of that matters when you have set in your head; this is what you want to do. I even had a few others laugh and say I left a full-time job to do something with no experience. Still, I didn’t allow that to stop me. I will be lying if I say these few months the journey of being my very own boss as a Certified Eyelash Tech has been easy because it hasnt. But the more I dedicate myself to practice I have found improvements. Finding my confidence in my work has taken time, but each day I wake up and set up at my home-station whether it is practicing with my mannequin head or a live person, I give it my all. I vow to myself to not return to the world of a 9-5; dedication is my key to my new business in the lash world.

I am going from Certified Eyelash Extension Tech to Licensed Esthetician over the next few months. There is so much more to come from getting Glammed By Tae. I thank all my mentors, supporters, those that have trusted me with live practice, most of all, I am thankful that I found my purpose and passion in starting my own business.

Hired, Quit, Fired, now I have started my own business, so can you.

Instagram @GetGlammedByTae
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Email GetGlammedByTae@gmail.com

Turn the Switch Off

A few weeks back, I shared a blog about my toddler helping with simple daily routines when I can’t hear around me. Yes, that blog post showed how sweet and innocent CJ can be at times. But what about the times when CJ is not so honest! Or the times when your boyfriend continues to nag about dinner not ready! How can I leave out a manager in a meeting rambling on and on! Teenagers are fighting in the next room over about fortnight! Thank God for the ON and OFF switch of my hearing aids!!!

If you are wondering there are some pros I call it with wearing hearing aids. Especially if the noise of toy trucks bouncing off walls, or the noise of PJ MASK blasted while your toddler is singing along, and you’re laying in bed with a massive migraine, merely turn the off switch.

I have taken advantage of this off and on the switch, to save my life at times, from exploding on many people. CJ at times has come in front of me and yelled “DO YOU HEAR ME” lol, I simply shrug my shoulder to answer him with “I DONT UNDERSTAND.” Believe it or not, he will walk away and quiet down.

I know that may seem a little harsh to some, but we as mothers sometimes need a mental break from the world — a moment to silent everything around us entirely out. My mental interruptions from the kids fighting, a boyfriend nagging, a manager rambling, or just someone near me irritating me with their sounds, has all been silent out with turn the switch off. To have both worlds in my hands the ability to hear those when I need too and ability to silent those when required has been a thoughtful way of capturing my thoughts. Once I have gathered my ideas, calmed my nerves and ready to enter back into the world chaos and noise I will turn the switch back on to be part of my environment.

When learning how to adapt to your new world, you find the pros and cons to help you enjoy who you are. I can say when I look back and think I am one lucky person.

On or Off are my choices!
My world!
My peace of mind!
I love me!!!

My Child Understands Me

We have all considered our children as little geniuses. At least I was blessed with three I love so dearly. Each one has made changes in their ways of communication to assist their mom with her hearing loss. Of course, my older boys were able to experience the before mom lost her hearing and know how to communicate with mom and her hearing loss.

I want to take a moment to share how my youngest amazes me with communication. CJ now at the age of three years old with no sign language teaching, no understanding or been told his mom can’t hear, he has adapted quite fast in communicating with me.

Last week there was a knock at the door. Me running around the house and not hearing the beat at the front door, and only been one room over caused for CJ to alert me. His first attempt was using words “someone at the door, someone at the door” again just being a mom brushing him off responding “boy go sit down and stop shutting doors” yes I was way off with where this was leading to lol. CJ than got very agitated and grabbed my hand leading me to the front door, where I was caught off guard someone was outside. I open the door and YES someone was knocking at the door for 5 minutes. The person begins to ask me questions which I was slightly confused, a simple question on did I have any trash for the valet trash attendant — me standing there trying to understand this soft-spoken person and make out the conversation. CJ goes and points at the garbage in the kitchen signaling for me that they were asking for our trash service for the day. I was just so stunned at how this little person who is only three just walked me through an entire conversation by pointing and leading me. I had to explain to the valet trash service provider I am hearing impaired, that I didn’t hear a noise at the door, but my toddler did, I didn’t understand what he needed because I was standing with one hearing aid in and couldn’t quite make out what was said, but my toddler understood. Valet trash smiled and said you have a little genius on your hand to care for you.

I always questioned having all boys would they care for their mother like a mother should be cared for when the time comes and I can’t provide for myself. This situation here has shown me that my child is ready for years of communication with me, years of leading me, and years of being my interpreter because even now barely learning speech himself he has proved he is his mother’s keeper.

Never underestimate a child. They see and understand things better than we can ever imagine. I am blessed to have him.

CJ mommy loves you!!!!

We Need Our Mothers

How does a young girl become a woman, most have a mother that teaches them the true meaning of womanhood. Growing up each young girl enjoys to play in makeup, polish her nails, comb and brush her hair. These are things some are blessed to do with their mother. Heres where the bond of mother and daughter begins and grows.

Blessed with a beautiful black queen as a mother — a strong-minded woman who thinks highly of herself. My mother had the image of a tom-boy I always thought. Her style has forever been sweatsuits and the hottest air max. She never could relate or understand why I like to strut in heels, play with press-on nails, or enjoyed the latest hairstyles with weave. Over the years the misunderstanding and different ways we shared caused many arguments and fights.

Many mothers don’t realize how a girls day with your daughter or daughters allows them to open to their mothers about who they are. It gives a chance of bonding and moment to express your likes and dislikes freely. As time passes over the years, a young girl seems to feel alone, and slowly looks for the attention and bonding with other outside people.

The choices young adult women make in life comes from how they feel deep down inside. If they feel as if the woman who birth them never have time for them they take on the same thought process with men. And they allow men to come and go as they please.

My high school years were spent learning about who I was. I had no clue of what type of woman I wanted to be because the woman who was supposed to teach me was very busy finding herself. These were my hardest years because a lot of decisions I made were because I didn’t know or was told my worth or how a woman should handle situations among other women or men. I read many of books on self-love and care at the early age of 16 but still couldn’t quite comprehend. There were times I cried myself to sleep wishing she understood me but she couldn’t.

As time went by and we both aged, she has made numerous attempts to relate to me. Over time I have attended church with her, and to the hair salon with her. We have shared many secrets good and not so good! The bond my mom and I have now is inseparable, unconditional and with great respect, love, compassion. She has expressed her childhood growing up which has enlightened me on her thought process. Even with, the damage did she goes super hard now to make up. As God says, everyone deserves to be forgiven and second chances. I admire her strength never to give up. We may miss out on bonding however her go-getter attitude I have picked up. That has been the greatest trait she could have ever-blessed me to have.

My young adult and adult life as a woman hasn’t been easy teaching myself, but the few stumbles have made me stronger. Now as an aunt and stepmother of young ladies I make it my duty to let them know I love them so they may enjoy themselves, that they are loved unconditionally and don’t have to seek approval or love from outside. They are worthy, there may be mistakes made, but they are loved and not judged by me. Those bonding trips to the mall, nail salons, hair salons are the times where I allow them to express who they are in style. All that I give to them is all I ever wanted for myself. We must remember the young women under us will soon be mothers themselves we must break the cycle for them.

Love on every young woman connected to you so she may love herself.

SELF-LOVE, SELF-CARE, WORTHY

BODY SHAMING IS NOT COOL

Everyone tends to think the word FAT is harsh. Don’t get me wrong it is. Why is it the word SKINNY is left as a positive word?
For those that suffer from eating disorders, weight challenges that affect their ability to gain, or the person who has other illnesses that keep them from not gaining, skinny is very offensive.
I have been small all my life. Some people have picked and made me feel the discomfort of enjoying me as a healthy me. Meanwhile, others have asked what the secret of staying so small is. There is no secret at all. I eat daily probably more than a person more prominent than my size — somehow I haven’t managed to pick up the pounds in the right areas to fit in with the IG models or today’s THICK GIRLS club.

Over time I have spoken with doctors to see what healthy ways I could use to add on weight. Many requested ensure back in the early 2000s. YUCK! Drinking two to three ensure supplemental drinks a day can be upsetting to the stomach. I experienced nausea over time which caused me to stop that route. Another doctor requested Depo-Provera 2007. Now, this I was excited to see if worked. I read many women saying how Depo- Provera caused them extra weight gain over time. After my first dose, I noticed me eating more snacks and continuously having the munchies lol. It could have been a mental thing, but I am quite sure the shot played a part. When starting depo provera, I was at a tiny size of 105LBS. Yes, skinny minny. Three months passed and it was time for my next dose and lord the scale read 135LBS. Thirty extra pounds. The biggest I had seen in my life without being pregnant. After remaining on depo for four years, I decided I wanted to have another child. In just four years my body had changed tremendously my once so fertile self-wasn’t as productive as years before. Visiting with my ob-gyn, she felt it was best to let go of the shot to give my body some break especially if I was trying to conceive in upcoming years. I was torn between having another child or back to my skinny size. Thankfully my homegirl from high school recommended a medication she used for weight gain and was prescribed by her doctor for use. I was back to smiling again. My primary care saw no harm in prescribing the medication to take three times a day. The year of 2011 I begin my first round of prescription drugs, and drastically my weight increased from 135LBS to 165LBS again another thirty extra pounds. Now I fitted in with all the girls who were thick, so you say.

I end by saying this, us skinny girls have trials to go through as well to feel comfortable about our outside body and appearance. Calling another person thin can make them feel down about themselves the same as calling someone fat. No one will ever be a perfect size. It’s best to not judge another person’s weight with or without knowing their struggles. As you see from my experience, I spent many years with doctors just a person much bigger would spend trying to find weight loss options just to fit in. Body-shaming is not respectful for any shape or size individual.

If you or dealing with body shaming from others or even yourself. Practice accepting yourself now, use powerful affirmations, turn your focus on away from what you look like on the outside and toward how you feel on the inside/outside, and last it’s ok to seek professional health to improve but do it for you, not for others. What matters most is that we’re happy with who we are!